


A Game Of "Hunt The Human"

by ThisShipHasSailed



Category: MTMTE - Fandom, Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Hasbro, MTMTE, Multi, Sexual mention, The Transformers: Lost Light, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye (IDW), drinking mention, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:43:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisShipHasSailed/pseuds/ThisShipHasSailed
Summary: Reader makes a bet that they can make it to their bedroom before anyone catches them. Reader must sneak around and evade a select few of Autobots in order to win the bet.





	A Game Of "Hunt The Human"

**Author's Note:**

> Reader is you.  
> Reader is addressed as "they/them".

Truthfully, I am stupid when I am drunk. In fact, I make the most idiotic wagers on the human planet of Earth, and that’s saying something. I may not lose money, but I’m losing in ways that shouldn’t be possible. I like to bargain and try to play my cards just right to where I win big. But sometimes, I overestimate my opponent and I end up owing way too much.

Plus, when I get drunk, I end up overestimating my opponent ten times too much, which is dangerous when you’re on a ship filled with technorganic robots that love to watch a little human squirm.

“You beginning to regret this, squishy?”

I bite on my lip, trying not to stumble as I quietly unscrew the vent covering. The vents here on the ship are a hell of a lot larger than the vents on Earth, as even Skids can fit into them. But the fact of the matter is that I am not all that tall, and the top of the vent cover is at least six inches over my head.

The ground trembles beneath a large weight. Down the dark hallway walks the ship’s captain. Bright blue optics glow in the darkness, and my stomach feels as if it just bottoms out. He is about thirty yards off, and I am shitfaced and short and this is becoming extremely unfortunate. 

“F-Fuck you, you… you farthead.” I barely manage to slur out before I tug the vent covering free. Excitement and relief courses through me, although the barking laugh of the ship captain rang through my ears.

“...Squishy, you might not want to go in there.” Rodimus warns, his body contorting and transforming into a bright red sports car. What a pretty glean his paint job has.

I suddenly realize that the only reason I can see it is that he is getting way too close for comfort. I quickly jump up to grasp at the vent’s edge. The sound of tires squealing makes my stomach squirm. Forty feet… thirty feet… fifteen feet…

I manage to crawl up into the ventilation shaft, scrambling to pull my way inside. The sound of gears shifting ring in my head, and I feel the air rush up the back of my shirt.

“Y/n, get back here!” I grin as I look back at the hot-headed Autobot. Frustration was evident in his optics as he glares daggers at me. 

“What’s wrong, Roddy? Too big to get in here? Scared I might… die? Or scared that you might lose the game?” I smirk as his optics flash, watching as the smooth metal of his jaw clenches.  
The game is rather simple, really. It’s like a game of tag, except it was who could tag the human on board the ship first. Rodimus had been too close to grabbing me, but fortunately, I am quick on my feet.

Or, rather, my hands…?

“Get over here you little slaggin’ squishy!” Rodimus snaps, shifting back so he can fit his servo into the vent. I widen my eyes in surprise, screeching before moving back into the ventilation system.  
A digit touches my shoe, just barely grazing it with the pad. Then it was nearly his whole servo that is flushed against my thigh.

“N-No! Fuck off!” I shout, bringing my foot up and pushing off of one of his digits. I slide deeper into the vent, and the cold metal wall hits my back. His servo reaches for a few more seconds before he brings himself out. 

I smirk, my eyes squinting out to peer out at Rodimus. His blue optics stare right back at me, the red of his paintjob making his mood very apparent. Frustrated and angry, and his vents letting out annoyed huffs.

Then, he brings his servo up, and in a flurry of movement, he is pulling out a claw-like gun that one would typically find at an arcade. His optics flash, and a smirk crosses his obnoxiously smug faceplate.

“Gotcha.” I shriek as he cocks the gun and takes aim. Scrambling to crawl, I turn into the small vent. The clang of the claw hitting the metal behind me shakes me to my core, and in a drunken way that only a drunk could, I laugh.

And I laugh.

I can’t stop fucking laughing and he looks so miserable and angry and frustrated and so damned unamused as I peek out to look at him.

“You gotcha who now?” I giggle before I hear a clang deep within the ventilation system. Red lights light up in my head, and I know, instantly, that someone is in the vents with me. At that moment, I know it is time to abandon Rodimus before he pulls out an actual gun and shoots the metal clean to get to me.

“I… uh, should be going n… now. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Hehe, okay, bye Rodimus!” The red mech growls so low that it rumbles the vents, and I take that as my cue to leave.

I know he won’t just give up, and at any possible moment he can climb in after me.

The clanging is getting closer. I turn tail and crawl deeper into the vents. Everything around me is grey and dark. It holds a deep, pungent smell of the rest of the ship, only stronger. It’s a reassuring scent, and the enclosed space around me helps as well.

I pass another grate. Peering down into it, I notice the light blue frame of another mech. He has large, arching wings, and at the angle I’m at, I can clearly see his white mouthplate and those smoldering red optics. It appears he’s playing with something on his arm.

What I can make out is mighty fuzzy, as my vision is interloping clouds with what’s actually there. It looks so funny, too! There are lines circling the display his arm is projecting… And right in the center is a bright red dot.

It looks like a weird game of Pacman but… different! It reminded me of the days on Earth, playing with my siblings and trying to defeat the many evil ghosts.

And here I am, trying to defeat the “evil” robots and stay away from all of them. In actuality, I am supposed to be attempting to make it to my bedroom. Once I make it there, I am safe. But it’s also going to be the most guarded area on the ship, so it’s out of bounds, at least, for now. 

There are a few ways to get into the bedroom. One way is to climb through the ventilation system, which will hide me and give me enough time to crawl through. But there are bots who are small enough to climb in here, too, like Ravage, Skids, any of the minibots…

Okay, that isn’t all that much of a threat, but still… They can cause a ruckus, which would give me quite a worry.

The next way in could be to just waltz right in. But that would also include walking straight into the arms of an enemy.

All of a sudden, the thing on Brainstorm’s arm is blinking violently. I squint at it, licking my chapped lips. He’s looking around the room, looking for something… someone…

“Mhm… No traces of them… But it says they’re right here! I don’t understand it. The infrared should be picking them up… Unless…”

Then he is looking down at the ground, as if whatever he was searching for was around his pedes. All of a sudden, bright red optics are staring into mine. His voice sounds particularly smug.

“Hello, Y/n. Why don’t you come down from there? Make this easy for the both of us, hmm?” I swallow nervously, knowing I’m talking with one of the most intelligent Autobots on the ship.

Well, maybe not the most intelligent in all aspects, but still, extremely smart, to say the least.

“You… You’re so funny!” I laugh out loud, shaking my head as I look down at the autobot.

“Look, if… hick! If I come down there... I’ll be out of a prize, and… and, uh… yeah. I don’t want to lose, you big ol’ Brainy boy.” I say, sticking a hand out of the vent cover and wagging my finger back in forth. His optical ridges narrow.

“You smell of human high grade, and a strong source at that. How intoxicated are you?”

“For your information, I am… on a scale of one to ten…” I trail off, running a finger along the ridge of the vent cover. “At least a D.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“...Yes, it does!”

In one sharp burst, Brainstorm reaches up and tears the vent cover away. While we were busy conversing, he had also managed to grab a small weapon. I have no interest in seeing what it is.

In fact, I have a much more important interest in not getting caught. Scrambling to a crouching position, I hobble away from the cover just in time for Brainstorm to wrench it off. Silence makes me stiffen before the loud bang of the metal hits the ground.

Then I see a large servo reach into the vent and I know I need to get my tiny, human ass out of there.

“Y/n, last chance!” He shouts, his optics rising in excitement as he peers into the vent. He peels away a large section of the metal plating, which is also a part of what I’m crouching on.

I stare at him, slowly making my way to a small fork ahead. If I make it past that, I’ll have a clear getaway from this jet.

“...Nah.” I turn tail and flee, but before I even make it a foot, everything is flipped. I crash onto my back in a huff while Brainstorm watches on. There is surely a smirk beneath that face mask, which irritates me to no end.

Then he’s pointing that gun at me and I freeze.

“As you humans like to quote, ‘say hello to my little friend’!” Before he can shoot me, someone crashes right into Brainstorm. There is not bullet, per say, but an actual fucking net!  
What bot in their right mind… er, processor would carry something like that around?

Brainstorm would.

Ugh.

“That’s not fair! I deserve to win this!” A small blue minibot jumps and richotets off of the huge jet, and they both splurge into Cybertronian curses that I have a mild interest in understanding.

I throw off the off-target net and lurch up. I end up smashing my head on the vent’s ceiling, but at that moment I don’t care. I’m running away from the tussling Autobots and into the forked path.

I am quickly cut off from my escape, unfortunately.

“Hello there, Y/n! I didn’t think I’d see you up here, but it appears you are! How splendid.” Rung was tiny and perfect for the job of climbing around small shafts. But the thing is… I had no idea he would be up here. I also didn’t think he’d want to participate in such an immature game, but I guess I have more things to rethink about the million aged bot.

“Hey, Rung. You won’t even believe the night I’ve been in so far. It’s… It’s fuckin’ wild!” I exclaim, allowing myself to indulge just a little bit with the ship’s therapist. But it does appear I may have to backtrack… Being backed into a corner between Brainstorm and Rung was not a prospect that I would ever enjoy. In other situations, possibly… I lick my lips at the thought, but the loud sound of something crashing behind me made those thoughts quickly disappear.

I don’t give Rung any time to come closer. He is much too quick for me to squeeze past him, but if there is any possibility to flee from this predicament, then it’ll be through Brainstorm’s laboratory. 

Fleeing back through the vent shaft, I fling myself down from wide opening. Tailgate and Brainstorm are busy arguing, and I just so happen to land on top of the little blue mini-bot. He lets out a shriek of surprise as we crash to the ground.

My face is pressed against his, and I’m wheezing from the impact.

“Oh, Y/n! I’m so glad you’re here. Now I have won!” I shake my head at Tailgate’s words, staring down at the brightly lit visor he wears. Behind us, though, Brainstorm clears his vocalisor with a loud grunt.

“I don’t think so.” I quickly move to sit up, looking at the huge blue jet. In the corner of the vent is Rung, who is peering down to survey the situation.

“I don’t think so, huh?” I imitate Brainstorm, sticking out my arms to appear like a chicken. In return, he huffs and shakes his helm, although there is something about him that puts me on edge. 

I then remember the bet, and the realization that I still have to win goes through my head. God, if I wasn’t so damn blasted drunk, I probably would have won already! The time it takes for me to now slither my way off of Tailgate takes a bit of time, as my vision is whacked as shit and everything looks like a bunch of fucking sparkles and bullshit.

As I sprint for the open doorway I hear the commotion of at least three mechs fighting their way over to grab me.

The next few minutes include Brainstorm nearly managing to shoot his netgun at me before Rung pushes him away. So uncharacteristic of the spacecraft’s therapist, but what can you say? Sometimes these sorts of games can pull the most uncharacteristic of things out of people.

And those damn autobots were nearly on top of me. I need to get the hell away from them before one of them grabs me.

A map appears in my head, and I know I need to figure out something, and quick! First off, I know that this particular hallway leads to the large commons, Swerve’s bar, and stairs leading either up or down. My bedroom is on the level above the main floor, so that means I will have to go up.

I slide into the commons, nearly falling over my feet. A few Autobots have gathered here, talking about ship life, I assume, and none of them have an idea of what is going on. 

“Move your fat afts! I have places to be! Prizes to win!” The words make a few bots turn their helms to see what is going on, and a few wear bewildered expressions when they see Rung, Brainstorm and Tailgate trying to fight their way over each other. But once they reach the commons, they are able to fan out as to not get in each other’s way.

I take that chance to lose them amongst the large furniture and the pedes and the tables. I know that Brainstorm has that stupid tracking device, which is a little weird to think about as he probably had to implant it on me at some point, but it’s enough time to scurry out of the commons and to my personal stairs.

Unfortunately, when I reach them, something seems off. I blink through my haze, looking up the steps. On the upper level, something is making a loud beat that pulses through my head. It’s uncomfortable and annoying, and I wish it away.

I start to climb the steps. I feel a wave of anxiety flash through my at the fact that nobody is here to intercept me. I look around suspiciously, not trusting the area around me as I stop in the middle of the staircase. My stomach gurgles.

Oh, fucking shit piss ass! I’m- Suddenly, I’m lurching up the stairs, trying my best to keep my dinner down. All of the action seems to have messed up my stomach-

'No, you fucknut, it’s all the alcohol you’ve consumed at Swerve’s place-'

I reach the top, and I feel achy and nauseous all over. I can only imagine what my face looks like. It’s probably all green, and the look I’m giving hopefully conveys it. I swallow down a burp, which would have surely caused vomit to spew literally everywhere.

I continue my way down the hallway before the curved hips of Drift makes me stop. How had I not noticed him before?

“Hippy Drifty! Oh, boy, oh-fucking-boy! It’s certainly good to see you, huh? I bet you’re just… just excited… Uh… Fuck…” I decide very quickly that speaking is not the smartest thing to do, as I can feel bile rising in the back of my throat as I talk. But I know that I can count on Drift to know that he isn’t a part of this idiotic game of hide and seek combined with capture the flag.

The mech raises an optical ridge high before kneeling before me. Streaks of vivid color flash before my eyes, and the soft groan of his gears turns my attention right back to his thighs.

He’s so nice…

“Y/n, you do not look… well. Is everything alright?” My eyes snap back up to his face, which is absolutely beautiful. The arches of his crown interlock with a bright gold gem in the center, and his blue eyes illuminate the rest of his chiselled features. He truly is a being to behold.

“Let’s just say I have had too much to drink.” I say, biting on my lip as the threat of vomiting comes ever closer.

“Oh, dear. Do you need assistance back to your hab suite?” He asks, and I am touched by his show of concern. He truly is such a kind mech, and he’s always been so graceful and thoughtful of others. It’s surprising that he’s giving me that sort of attention, especially as I’m just a human, a little, itty-bitty squishy…

“That would be wonderful, Drift.” He smiles and his optics crinkle just a tad.

'AAAAAA WHY IS HE SO AMAZING?' 

He offers me his servo like the gentlebot he is, and I accept happily. This game is now over, thanks to Drift! I get a ride from a handsome, kind bot and I get extra privileges for a week! I step onto the warmth of his digits and sit down on the base of his servo.

Then, oh Primus, I’m pressed against his chassis and I know, then, that I have reached heaven and I am resting upon the breast of an angel-

All of a sudden I hear the pitched voice of Swerve, who is now heading down the hallway and towards Drift and I.

“Oh, slag it, it appears that Drift won the game! I thought for sure I would win, you know, Drift? You know, because Y/n and I seem to be pretty close and I knew they were in those vents and-”

The movement of Drift and the nonstop chatter from Swerve is becoming to be a bit much. I’m biting on my tongue, holding onto my breath, clenching my eyes shut…

But that isn’t enough to stop the oncoming wave of nausea. All of a sudden I’m vomiting over the side of the ledge. I watch with a hazy gaze as chunks and sludges of my dinner fall to the unsuspecting mech below…

“Wha-? What is this? OH, MY PRIMUS IT’S-” Then, all I hear is Whirl screeching in Cybertronian, which I assume is a bunch of curses.

Meanwhile, Swerve is cackling like a madman and I’m flushing in embarrassment and horror.

“Oh, god, please, just get me out of here.” I moan, leaning my head against the warmth of Drift’s chassis. He chuckles in retaliation.

“Of course, M’lady.” 

The ship will always remember the time when Drift won the prize of a short week cycle, and a drunk human spewing chunks all over Whirl.


End file.
